|I took this (makeup-free) picture looking out my kitchen window on a particularly down day when I was feeling all of the feelings.|
I have apparently learned a lot about myself in these recent weeks. Six things, conveniently enough, in six weeks (oh, aren't bloggers crafty?) ...
- I need to be better about letting things go, and giving up control. Not everything has to be my way. Not every mess needs to be cleaned up immediately. I had to let go of a lot of OCD tendencies because I simply couldn't get up and DO something, and that's a good thing. (More about this here.) I learned that I'm not the only person who can handle things, and that I have wonderful friends and family members who are happy to help out.
- I need to prioritize sleep. My lights-off time used to be 11 p.m. (sometimessss 11:30 p.m.) but I have learned it needs to be closer to 10 p.m. Last night, I watched one show with Darling Husband and he suggested a second (it was 8:45 p.m.) and I decided to go to bed instead. He thought I was crazy, but I spent over an hour reading on my phone (social media, catching up on blogs) and had the lights out by 10 p.m. I woke up long before my alarm and felt good. I'm a morning person, and I need to accept that.
- I need to stop putting pressure on myself about stupid things. The first week our kids went to their once-a-week sitter, I sent baked goods so they had something to share with their friends. Mini-muffins, something like that. They were a huge hit, and so I made something else for the second week. Then? Somehow? It became something I felt I *had* to do every week, even on nights when I was exhausted and busy. Well, I couldn't bake in my early recovery days, so I got away from the feeling that I *had* to send them with baked goods. Now I feel fine about the fact that I'll send cookies or muffins sometimes, but only when I can.
- I don't have to feel guilty about taking time for my hobbies. Right before my surgery, I finished The Fringe Hours and LOVED it. Seriously, it was life-changing. I always feel guilty about spending time sewing or crafting because there are more important things I could be doing -- house projects, chores, work, writing one of my many unfinished books. But Jessica says it's critical to pursue your passions and do things that make you happy. She's so right.
- These everyday, basic, regular days are so awesome. It's funny how it takes losing your regular life to really appreciate the monotony of your regular life. I missed things like driving D to preschool, and wandering aimlessly around the mall with C. I missed watching TV alone in the basement with Darling Husband after the kids were in bed. I missed washing the dishes at some points! I still dearly miss my Zumba classes, but hopefully I'll be back within the next week or two.
- I need to stop rushing ... well, sometimes. There's nothing like being unable to get out of bed unassisted to make you stop your go-go-go mentality. I'm making more of a point now to stop -- sip my tea at the kitchen table without being glued to my phone, turn off the TV and just sit in silence for a minute (uh, again, without being glued to my phone), take a second to really breathe. I don't need to be going a million miles a minute all of the time -- and it's not good for me, either.
The last six weeks (mainly the first three) were really hard, but plenty of good things have come from them. Lemons into lemonade and whatnot. The snow is finally melting, the chill is easing up, and spring (real spring) will be here soon.