Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Mom confessions from mid-July

I'm trying to feel grateful that I don't have to pack school lunches at the moment, but honestly I do miss school. A lot. (Also, I'm still MAKING just as many lunches -- I'm just not making them at 6:45 a.m.)

I'm trying to be patient with them. It's hard.

I'm trying to remind myself that it's nice not to be missing my oldest from 7:30 a.m. until just after 2 p.m. every weekday, but I also wish he'd leave me alone occasionally. The youngest, too, while we're at it.

I'm trying to embrace the flexibility -- the freedom! -- of "summer vacation," but mostly I'm just aching for the routine that comes with the school year. I'm a creative of habit and structure is my game. I *like* getting to places early, with everyone dressed and coiffed. I *like* having a set schedule to our days. I'm *good* at that!

I'm trying not to twitch when they ask me for the 426th snack in a single morning. I'm really failing.

I'm trying not to wish the summer away -- or this time when my kids are young and cute -- because I know the days are long but the years are short. But let's face it: the days can be really longggggggg.

I'm trying not to feel jealous of my teacher friends and SAHM/SAHD friends who don't need to work amidst the shrieks and banging coming from overhead.

I'm trying not to feel guilty when I have to work, but it's much easier said than done when the kids are around constantly. My work can't stop because they're off, and yet I feel guilty. They tell me they don't want to go to day camp (!!!) even though I was counting on it (!!!) and now I'm like $%&#!

I'm trying not to feel sad when everyone is hanging out in the backyard with the neighbours and I really want to join them but I have to work. (There's currently a random groundhog, too, and I want to be out there pointing and taking pictures of it, dammit!)

I'm trying not to beat myself up because I'm not revelling in summer fun and excitement. Nobody wants to be the lame nerd who *misses* the routine of the school year! But, you know, I am who I am.

I'm trying not to ----- SERIOUSLY, YOU JUST HAD BREAKFAST! You don't need a snack yet! Go back outside! Mommy's working! Aughhhhh! 

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