It came out of nowhere, and now it's practically all I can think about.
Longtime readers may remember that back before I was pregnant with D -- when I was just a mild-mannered
reporter, er, producer/project manager, I had this dream of writing and publishing a novel.
I got up early every day before work, so I could spend an hour or an hour and a half writing and editing. I finished my novel. I went to work every day at a job I enjoyed, but one that sometimes left me feeling like I wasn't writing enough -- that I wasn't using this spark inside of me. I pitched publishers and got rejected again and again.
Then I got pregnant with D, and literally the exact same day I peed on the stick, I stopped. I turned 100 per cent of my energy into preparing for motherhood, and just basically let my dream of being a published author fade away.
I continued to write on a freelance basis, of course, and now I write professionally. It feels amazing! I'm completely grateful and pleased to have this career, and usually very satisfied with my work.
I haven't thought too much about getting a book in bookstores over the last four (almost FIVE, wow) years of this pregnant / nursing / pregnant / raising two kids whirlwind. Occasionally I feel a pang, and then it goes away ... stifled by sippy-cups and Lego and the need to make another batch of pancakes "wif syrups" for the kids.
I'm too damn busy to write another book, I told myself sometimes. I no longer wanted to get the original novel published, because it felt embarrassingly amateur. I thought it was so good at the time, but now ... ugh.
But then, the other night, inspiration struck. I was lying in bed, with my mind racing -- I totally drank a Diet Coke WITH CAFFEINE earlier in the day, which messes with me big-time -- and suddenly I had an idea. Not just a little blib of an idea, but chapter ideas -- hell, COMPLETE SENTENCES -- were rushing through my bloodstream.
I grabbed the notebook and pen I keep in my nightstand, and discovered almost all of the pages were filled with scribbles of dress ideas, Christmas present lists, and lists of things to organize -- I'm the lamest. I found ONE blank page at the end, used my iPhone as a flashlight, and wrote as fast as I could.
My notes -- which I will share one day, because they're hilariously wobbly and confusing -- are the basis for the book I'm going to write. You know, like SOON. NOW?
I have such a good feeling about this, guys. I can SEE it on the shelves at Chapters. It's a very exciting feeling. I haven't felt like this in years. A book! A chance! Another kick at the old publishing can. It's like five years ago, again, only ... better. I'm more experienced, I'm a better writer -- years of writing professionally, hello! -- and I feel I have a much stronger concept.
I promise to share more soon, but I just had to tell you I'm going for it again. And this time? I'm not stopping until I take it all the way.