Wednesday, March 23, 2011

What was I thinking?

Do you ever get little flashes of mommy regret, where you ask yourself what the H-E-double-hockey-sticks you were thinking at a certain point in time?

I was thinking back to Baby Boy's newborn days, and remembering how I used to get up for middle-of-the-night feedings. I would take Baby Boy from his Playard next to our bed, change his diaper in his room, and then go to the living room and watch an episode of America's Next Top Model while I nursed him. And I'd eat little pre-made snacks of cheese and crackers and pepperoni. I'd be up for almost an hour, from start to finish.

What was I thinking???

At the time I was convinced it was the best thing to do. I had tried changing him and then nursing him in his dark room, like, once. Then I declared the feedings took too long and I got bored. I also had the deluded idea that by keeping him awake for a while -- nursing him, holding him for a bit, nursing him again -- he would "sleep longer" once we both went back to bed.

Again ... what was I thinking???

I would put Baby Boy back in bed, he would fuss, and I would have to sit on the edge of our bed rocking him until he was settled enough to go to sleep. This was in my "pacifiers-are-evil" phase, of course. I would sing and rock and whisper and rock until he was too tired to cry when I put him down. Then I would finally crawl back into bed, and ... surprise, surprise ... I couldn't sleep! And he didn't sleep for long stretches, so by the time I fell back asleep, he'd be waking up again. Aughhh!

Now? I only wish Baby Boy was right next to my bed, so I could reach over and feed him without having to get out of bed. I had a dream set-up back then, and I totally wasted it.

If I knew then what I knew now, things would be very, very different. I would have reached over, picked up Baby Boy, nursed him lying down in bed with me, tucked him back into the Playard, popped a soother in his mouth, and we both would have gone back to sleep.

I would have probably be a totally different person in those early months, because I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN MORE SLEEP!

Preggos, new moms -- please learn from my mistake! Tyra Banks is awesome, but she is not worth feeling like a zombie for (for months and months on end).

1 comment:

lindsey said...

OMG you totally read my mind with this post! I used to do the same thing — Get up and take Baby J out to the living room and watch recorded shows while I nursed. I'd be so stimulated from watching TV that he'd be back to sleep and I'd be wide awake. Crazy. Now I wander into his bedroom, nurse him in his chair there, and put him back in the crib, all while barely opening my eyes! So much better for him and me!